Top ??

Yes I use myspace and facebook, but the Top Friends feature on there seems incomplete as not all of my dearest friends are not on there. So here is my homage to my top however many come to mind tonight.

1) EAR - I know you're swamped traveling the country hunting down the perfect program for your residency, but you will find it. You will survive residency. You will remain my best of friend for all of time.

2) The Original KDM - We've always had some sort of strange intergenerational sibling bond that I'm quite fond of. Even much more so now that I have matured a bit. I mean you still have and will continue to have nearly 14 years on me, but I won't hold that against you for too much longer.

3) Penland Roomie - We have completely lost contact and that saddens me. You were the only one of my friends during the time I was coming out at Big Baptist U that didn't change one single part of our dynamic. Maybe it's because we were forced to live with each other that we couldn't let it get weird, but I remember the good times and hope you are doing well.

4) Re - We survived working in the bomb shelter, chihuahua like managers, Dr. Evil bald managers, and the transition into an entirely new city for me and possibly for you soon as well. I hope our friendship continues to grow.

5) Current Roomie - I still don't like your boyfriend, I think you could do SO much better, but that's not my place. I miss having you at home and just chilling and doing stuff together. We didn't spend nearly enough time outdoors this summer.

6) Mal - I think you might find yourself surprised to find yourself on this list, but you shouldn't. You were the first person I knew I could trust with my deepest of worries, for that I shall forever be grateful.

7) Matt - Who knew that 5 years could make you realize you could become friends with someone you had figured you'd always be like oil and water around. Thank you for trusting me with some of your secrets and concerns. I never want to tell you how to do anything in your life, but I know it's always nice to get someone's opinion and I'm glad you at least ask for mine.

8) Mer - Wow... I feel like there is so much I want to share with you right now, but I just can't bring myself to add anything else to your plate at the moment. Good news is that it can wait awhile and we'll have plenty of time to discuss amongst ourselves then.

9) Original S&P - I know you probably will never read this, but I really need to thank you for filling a gap that I guess I so desperately needed, but was so unaware was there. You will always be my Austin Momma.

10) Brother - Thank you for coming to see me in the hospital. I think that was the first time we ever sat down and simply talked as adults. Glad to see you turned out alright ;-)

For now this is it, I'm actually struck by some of those that came to mind, but where I am right now these are the most important people I have or have had in my life and I just needed to let them know.

Fear and Loathing

Why am I having such difficulties making new friends in this town. Probably because I'm afraid, I always have been a very shy person. I'm afraid of two things.

#1-I'm at a different point in my life and a lot of the old friends I used to have here don't necessarily fit into my latest plan for my life.

#2-I don't think people will like me, so to avoid rejection I don't put myself out there.

I've always been the type of person to have a close group of 5-10 people in my life that I call my friends. Growing up it was the kids at church who formed this group. High school I had choir and classmates. At Baylor I had BIC and a few of the activities I was in, but mostly it was the BICers. At work in Waco I originally had co-workers, but as I became a manager there I had to end some relationships to protect my job and theirs.

I haven't surounded myself with people I really trust in awhile and that's what's really starting to bother me. With Nana getting hurt I was forced to think... If I became sick or in an accident, who would show up to comfort me? I realize whatever differences I might have with my family that they would all be there. Out of all of those people I knew growing up through working now who would show up? I have my list of those that I know for sure would be there if it was at all possible and it's good to know deep down they are there for me, but my immediate concern is for here and now... in Austin, who are my friends? There are some I know for sure and others that are growing on me, I'm slow to trust people nowadays.

I probably should stop spending every weekend I can at home alone doing nothing and get out there...it's just kinda scary. Everything happens for a reason, but if you don't go do something nothing happens and that's bad...real bad. So I shall go out with new people from work and make more of the friendships I have started in this new job. I'm going to give some of the people from Austin I knew before the benefit of the doubt knowing we can form a new deeper type of friendship than the one we had when I was still living in Waco. I'll be a happier person overall. I'm looking forward to that.

Trip to Houston

I have to head to Houston this weekend. I got a call from my sister just before 10 PM to tell me that my grandmother, who is in Texas visiting from North Carolina slipped at the restaurant she and my mom were eating at and broke her hip and shoulder. She's now in the same hospital I was born at waiting for surgery on Thursday morning to repair or replace her hip.

First thing is that I'm not surprised something like this happened at the restaurant there were at, but it's one of those moments where it happened to some you know and it makes you feel even worse. They were at a Texas Roadhouse. It's a good place for a steak, but anyone who is slightly OCD should avoid it all costs for their sanity. The reason for that is that they give you a large bucket of peanuts and as you eat them you drop the shells on the floor. Said shells pile up all day long and never get swept up. Add that to the fact there is a step up from floor piled with peanut shells to the booths and disaster was destined, but why did he have to be my 88 year old grandmother.

Brother who lives in San Antonio also got Friday off so the entire family will be in the the same metropolitan area for 3 whole days. The only thing that could top off the entire circus would be if my mother's sister flew in from North Carolina. This is the same aunt I once sold her something, warned it might not work the way she was expecting it to, and then returned it. Her excuse? "God was telling her they didn't need it." I wish I could consult the almighty on my purchases as well, I might have avoided my fashion experiments that failed miserably.

I must say that I'm very happy my manager had no problem asking and his manager had no problem approving the time off. I know other people who's manager won't let her off for her daughter's graduation from law school. She's a support rep that sits right behind me. That means she sells accessory items to what I sell so I don't have to have all that crap memorized. We'll call her the Matchmaker as she's tried to setup Roomie and is now working on getting me a man. We'll have to see how that goes. If you want to know about what's going on in the other half of our floor she's the woman to go to...all of the gossip. I usually try to stay ahead of everyone else so she's a good person to know.

Time to finish up Idol, drink some tea, and get some sleep. Still fighting this head cold thing I picked up from Roomie.

Be good!